The second encounter had different challenges: I was talking to someone while walking on a busy street. I had to juggle my focus between my conversational partner and the various obstacles in front of us and on the ground. I think I could have done a better job keeping in nonverbal contact with my friend, either through touching him or her when we could not make eye contact to indicate my presence, or turning to look more frequently at him. Although this dialogue was pleasurable, it can be difficult to show interest and attention while moving, and avoid tripping or getting hit by cars. There is always a balance between showing attention to what is going on in your surroundings, and engaging with the other individual, particularly as I wanted to set a time and a date for meeting with him later in the evening.
I was surprised that many of my non-verbal listening postures involve 'folding up' when I was sitting. Walking with another person was very freeing. Partially, this had to do with the topic, which was more cheerful than the first, indoor conversation. But I think when I am sitting and talking with someone without much going on, I am inclined to try to show that I am paying...
But in the other scenario, walking made steady eye contact difficult. I noticed that I had more trouble listening when I was not making eye contact and my focus was on the world around me, rather than my conversational partner. Eye contact is usually one of my strengths, but it can be hard to maintain on a busy street. I think that incorporating more physical contact, relaxation, and proximity to my partner could improve my nonverbal communication.
I think that my non-verbal listening patterns do mirror my internal dialogue, even when I am not speaking aloud. When I am 'interrupted' in a non-verbal way (like by a pedestrian or a car horn) I find that my ability to engage in non-verbal communication is also interrupted, just as if I was speaking. I sometimes wonder if it is possible to alter and editor one's non-verbal script and still be 'authentic.' For example, I do not like smiling to show attention, when I cannot understand what the other person is saying or I disagree. Using nonverbal communication to reinforce my message while still being spontaneous will remain a challenge.
